


Death with Dignity

by summerwines



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Multiple Settings, Violence, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-02-16 12:31:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13054044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerwines/pseuds/summerwines
Summary: While parts of the world are torn apart by the undead, Jongdae finds a boy making paper fish. Ten years later, Jongdae marries him.





	Death with Dignity

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Written for the EXO wedding fest, invitation #81. I really wish this could've been longer, but I hope you still like this, dear prompter. It was fun to write, despite the writer's block I was hit with along the way. You didn't want heavy angst and I tried my best not to have too much of it -- though angst is sprinkled in various parts of this. This includes some violence typical during a zombie apocalypse, multiple countries, one sidepairing, some internal monologue about love, and all that jazz. Despite the title (which I got from a Sufjan Stevens song), this doesn't have major character death.
> 
> Shoutout to the mods for organizing the fest and thanks in advance to everyone who finds the time to read this. Enjoy! <3

**i.**

There is a boy sitting on top of a luggage trunk by the tram stop.

He’s young, no more than eleven. His hair parts down the middle and he’s got a thick green parka protecting him from the cold. His sneakers have become a dirtied white, presumably from all the running kids like them have had to do for the last year or so.

The boy appears to be making paper fishes, with a bunch of them splayed out on the ground. His forehead is creased in concentration and the tip of his tongue is out. Jongdae sees this through the window of the sharehouse. He’s meant to do the laundry today for all the tenants, baskets of dirty clothes ready for him to put in the wash. Though instead of working on that, he’s been trying to figure out the combination to the safe box where his foster parent keeps the cash. Not because he wants to steal anything, no. It’s strictly for the pride of knowing. 

Jongdae meets Baekhyun miles and miles away from their home country. He meets him while parts of the world are being ravaged by the undead, while kids like them are being shipped off to places like this dreary Australian suburb where no one can be seen on the street on a fine spring day.

The first time they talk, Baekhyun looks at him warily. But the look dispels into a smile once Jongdae learns that they speak the same mother tongue. 

“Nice to meet you, Baekhyun,” Jongdae says, holding out a hand.

Baekhyun smiles, again. Something about his face and the way the sunlight hits his cheeks makes Jongdae’s heart skip a beat.

“Nice to meet you too, Kim Jongdae.”

 

**ii.**

They have two months before a rising happens in Australia. In the first two weeks, Jongdae would often come to Baekhyun’s house and they’d often take a walk along the creek that leads to Riversdale Road. They climb down the rocks from time to time so they can dip their feet in the water. When it rains, they stay inside and watch videos on the phone Baekhyun got from his foster parent. 

Baekhyun particularly likes to stay on the stone bridge at the center of the park. Sometimes, they would just stand together, quietly, while birds teeter above them and a dog howls from a distance. And just as the silence stars to linger, Baekhyun would break it and talk about home. “I actually fell off a bridge when I was seven. I went pummeling down the river and my dad had to dive in. I think most people would be scared of bridges after something like that. But I guess I’m different. The undead—I’m not scared of them like everyone else is.”

By the second month, some of their games devolve into wrestling matches. Hide and seek would involve not only finding the other person but tackling them when they did. Jongdae would always whine when Baekhyun manages to tackle him to the ground, while Baekhyun would only laugh. “Ah, you’re too good at this!” Jongdae would say, breathing hard as Baekhyun sits on him, looking smug after he found Jongdae behind a line of bushes.

Baekhyun teaches him to make origami, mostly birds, fishes, and boats. Jongdae manages to make a whole line of them which he puts on a string and hangs beside his bed. In the dark, he stares at them, swaying ever so slightly in the still air.

It’s a shame, really, that they don’t get to live out the rest of Jongdae’s daydreams. They don’t get to climb the tallest tree at Gardiner’s Creek. They don’t get to chase magpies across empty streets. They don’t get to have sleepovers and talk all night about their old homes, their families.

It’s a shame, really—or more of an outrage, perhaps—that two months after Baekhyun’s arrival, the worst possible scenario happens merely ten kilometers away from their suburb.

They say it was a government worker who’d traveled to another part of the world and came here not knowing she’d ingested something lethal. Others say a fresh corpse in one of the local funeral homes had suddenly awoken, attacking the employees, who then attacked people walking in the street.

The thing about the Rising is that no one really knows from whom, from where, and when exactly it all started. All people know is that they have to run.

When the news breaks out, Jongdae and Baekhyun are outside, staring at Baekhyun’s phone, watching a live video of Melbourne shot from the sky. People run in all directions; the undead, with their arms flailing and their footprints bloodied, chase after whoever they smell. Not see--but smell. 

Jongdae and Baekhyun look at each other, at a loss for words. In a moment’s time, Jongdae takes Baekhyun’s arm and they run for it.

When they get to Jongdae’s house, the tenants are already about to ride their van. According to the news, the undead are approaching the eastern suburbs, so there is absolutely no time to waste.

The whole time, Jongdae feels like he’s about to lose all the breath in his lungs. In the van, Baekhyun hugs him. He’s calmer than Jongdae is. He tries to talk Jongdae down, “We’ll go far away from here, okay? We’ll live, Jongdae.”

All around the neighborhood, cars abound, their horns reverberating in Jongdae’s ears. No one seems to know exactly where they’re going. North, the landlord said. Go north, where everyone will be safe.

It’s a shame, really--an outrage, a tragedy--that things don’t go Jongdae’s way until many years later. But luckily, an origami fish remains in Jongdae’s jacket pocket. He reaches for it, almost crumpling it in his hand, reminding him of what could still be.

 

**iii.**

For a time, they are separated, but they send letters back and forth. Jongdae imagines, at times, that Baekhyun is by his side. In an act of desperation, he even attempts to draw Baekhyun’s face from memory; they never got around to taking pictures and their Internet connection has all but died. So, he tapes this drawing to his wall but then he rips it off a day later out of embarrassment.

Instead, he makes new paper boats and fishes; all of which he hangs above his bed.

In this northern town, Jongdae meets Kyungsoo, a younger boy who lives next door. Sometimes, he thinks Kyungsoo might be annoyed with him because Jongdae keeps bringing Baekhyun up whenever they do something fun.

“But I’m not annoyed,” Kyungsoo says, as he bikes with Jongdae across a quiet park. “I think it’s nice, loving someone alive.”

Jongdae sighs, at that. “You know I love you too, Kyungsoo,” he says. “You’re basically my brother now.”

Kyungsoo meets his eye, quickly, and his lips quirk up into a small smile. "Thanks," he goes. 

It’s great, with Kyungsoo. He finds the outdoors to be more tiring than Baekhyun does, but he and Jongdae still get to do a lot of the same things. 

Jongdae and Baekhyun are reunited when Jongdae is fifteen and Baekhyun is fourteen. Weeks before, they sent each other letters and determined a meeting place for the day of Baekhyun’s arrival in town. 

In the end, Jongdae finds him sitting at the train station. He looks older; his hair has grown bushy. When he sees Jongdae, his smile is small. Jongdae grins from ear to ear.

“Kim Jongdae,” Baekhyun goes. “It’s really you.”

“It is,” Jongdae says, hugging him close. “And you’re really here.”

 

**iv.**

Soon enough, the Rising arrives in the northern territories of Australia. But this time, the people are ready to fight.

Jongdae learns how to properly use a blade to put down the undead. It’s horrifying the first time he does it. As he, Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo run on an empty highway, they are chased by a lone figure of what was once a living man. It’s then that Jongdae takes a blade from his bag and attempts to perform what he learned from the news: _The only way to kill the undead is to stab it in the head and let it bleed._

It's horrifying when he sees that the blood isn't red. It's pitch black and it leaves a rancid stench on Jongdae's arm.

But it’s worth it. When Jongdae manages the kill, he looks at Baekhyun, who smiles at the sight of his triumph.

“That was incredible,” Baekhyun says. He holds Jongdae’s arm and touches the black liquid himself. He doesn’t seem fazed by the sight at all.

“Right, so you’ve killed it,” Kyungsoo goes, pulling on Baekhyun’s shirt. “Now let’s get the hell out of here.”

Jongdae doesn’t know what to say. But if he’s being completely honest, the feeling exhilarates him. It’s powerful, knowing he can rid the world of the same things that took away his old life. 

It’s his very first kill and by the looks of it, it will not be his last. 

 

**v.**

The first time they think about marriage, they’re in Thailand, at the sanctuary built for asylum seekers. It's a small, newly built town just outside Hat Yai. Surrounding it are forests and hills. From afar, one could see the golden statue of Buddha, untouched by the Rising that came to the country but has now since dissipated. Australia had closed its doors to immigrants after the ravaging of its cities, so many were left scrambling for asylum. And while the undead still lurk around Thailand, they are much less compared to many other countries.

By this time, Jongdae is nineteen. He’s already acknowledged for quite some time that what he feels for Baekhyun isn’t purely platonic. They’re together now and they’ve had sex, ten times – a fact that Chanyeol, their new friend, can’t seem to let go. He now thinks Jongdae and Baekhyun are somehow experts at sex and it’s always annoying whenever he asks for advice. Not that Jongdae knows who Chanyeol’s having sex with – though he does have a hunch. Quite obviously, it’s another man, since all of Chanyeol’s questions about suction and lube point to that direction.

“There’s something else though,” Chanyeol says, as he sits with Jongdae on a log in the nearby woods. Today, they are on patrol for the undead. It’s a part-time job they’ve taken on since they arrived at the sanctuary.

“Is it about Kyungsoo?”

“Wait, what?” Chanyeol blushes. “No, of course not! Why would you even bring him up?”

Jongdae laughs, head tilting back. “Right, right. So what’s up then?”

“It’s just—I saw this thing yesterday at the town hall and I thought you and Baekhyun might be interested.”

“What’s the question here?”

“Have you and Baek ever thought of getting married?” Chanyeol lifts his hands, palms out in a protective gesture before Jongdae can react. “Hear me out, okay? You two have been with each other for a long time now. And it’s not like we’re waiting for our careers to take off or something. So I thought—hey, wouldn’t it be great if you two got hitched?”

Jongdae raises an eyebrow. “What exactly did you see at the town hall?”

“It was a poster. They’re offering free weddings for refugees.”

Jongdae is skeptical, thinking Chanyeol must have made some kind of mistake. But as it turns out, it’s exactly as Chanyeol describes. When Jongdae goes to the town hall the next day, the poster is pinned on a notice board near the office for marriage licenses. It’s inconspicuous enough, the font and background black and white, that not many would be able to notice. Still, it’s there and it’s real.

Later, Jongdae finds himself thinking about it while Baekhyun is down on his knees, mouth on Jongdae’s cock. It distracts him from the pleasure, though only until Baekhyun licks up and sends him to heaven.

Afterwards, he does the same to Baekhyun and they end up cuddled in bed, Jongdae curling up under Baekhyun’s arm.

“Going on patrol tomorrow,” Baekhyun says, in a dreamy sigh. “Fourth time now.”

“Oh.” Jongdae bites his lip. “You’re excited about that?”

“Of course I am. I mean, it’s been pretty exhilarating so far, wouldn’t you say so?”

“Sure. But I didn’t get to see a lot of them yesterday. I think they’re starting to run out.” 

“They never run out.” The words are sharp enough that Jongdae looks up at Baekhyun, wondering what expression he might have. Baekhyun’s eyes are closed and he seems peaceful. But Jongdae senses that Baekhyun might be unhappy – feels it in the beat of Baekhyun’s heart and the way his mouth tightens.

So this—what he’s about to do, Jongdae thinks, is the best way he knows to create the joy that they both deserve.

“I have something I want to ask you,” Jongdae starts. He lifts himself up, kneeling on the bed. Baekhyun opens his eyes and raises an eyebrow.

“What is it?” Baekhyun goes.

“This will seem a bit sudden.”

There’s a pause. Baekhyun’s mouth opens and silence pervades until he says, “Go on.”

“I saw this poster a while ago at the town hall. Well, Chanyeol actually told me about it the other day. And it got me thinking. Our council—They’re officiating weddings for free. So I thought—Well, I know we’re in the middle of a zombie apocalypse and we don’t really have time for this, but I don’t want to regret anything in the future and pass up this chance. So, I’m asking you here—”

Jongdae stops. The brows on Baekhyun’s forehead knit together. It stays like that and Jongdae fears for the worst.

But then Baekhyun shakes his head and a smile appears on his face. “Kim Jongdae, are you asking me to marry you?”

Jongdae smiles back and he nods. “Pretty much,” he says. “I don’t have the money for a ring, but I—”

“Jongdae, stop.” Baekhyun sits up and he puts his hands on Jongdae’s arms. Then he kisses him, squarely. “That’s really sweet, Jongdae. But I don’t want to get married just because our government’s signing off the certificate for free.”

Jongdae slacks. “So is that a no?”

“It’s not a no.” Baekhyun wraps him in a hug. “I would never say no to you. But—Not now, Jongdae. It’s not yet time.”

“Wait—So—”

Before he can complete his thought, Baekhyun pins him down and tangles their fingers together. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Jongdae. But you have to be patient.”

When Baekhyun leans in for a kiss, Jongdae lets himself melt into it. After this, he doesn’t know what to feel. Perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps this _wasn’t_ the best way to make them both happy. Perhaps they really aren’t ready yet after all, just like Baekhyun says.

“Don’t ever think that I don’t love you because of this, okay?” Baekhyun says.

The words hit him like a bullet. He can’t help the grin creeping up his cheeks. “I love you too,” he says, because he does – so, so much. “And I’ll wait,” he adds. “However long it takes.”

 

**vi.**

When you love someone, you have to believe they’re worth fighting for. You have to believe they’re worth withstanding miles of separation, worth the heartache, even worth getting your hands dirty with the black blood of the undead and hurling yourself in front of a rabid zombie just to make sure the one you love is safe. It’s worth the uncertainty of your time together, of how long you really have with the other. When you love someone, you don’t give up on them.

Jongdae reaches this epiphany when he watches Baekhyun standing still as the undead rush forward. Baekhyun has a stake in his hand and his face is marked by determination.

“Baekhyun!” Jongdae grabs Baekhyun’s arm and drags him away.

“Jongdae! No! Let me do this! I can’t let these things live!”

“Shut the fuck up. This is not how you’re going to die. You promised me.”

“Jongdae, please!”

But Jongdae will not let him. He runs dragging Baekhyun along with him, towards the evacuation cars. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol have to help him to get Baekhyun on; they grab him by the arms as Baekhyun struggles to get free. “Let me go! _I need this. You can’t stop me!_ ”

It breaks Jongdae’s heart. He can only stare when Kyungsoo decides to knock Baekhyun unconscious. Jongdae can’t even get angry.

But he doesn’t give up on him; he never will.

They head north of the country where they find another sanctuary. It’s chaos at all the entrances to the cities; they pass Trang and Krabi before they find another place that would take them. When Baekhyun wakes, he doesn’t speak to anyone and merely sits on the cold tiles of the shelter. He stares into space and he looks at Jongdae as if he doesn’t even know him. 

Still, Jongdae holds his hand and Baekhyun seems to let him, which tells Jongdae that this is still the Baekhyun he knows. And it’s going to take a lot more than the undead to undo whatever they have together.

He stays like that for days. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol help to take care of him, helping Jongdae feed him and calm him down whenever he’s distraught, seeming to forget where he’s ended up. Little medical attention could be given due to the mass of people at the sanctuary's shelters. Rumors of nationwide evacuations are rampant and it makes Jongdae even more afraid of whether or not they'll be prioritized this time around.

One night, Baekhyun does return. They're lying on their cot when Jongdae suddenly feels Baekhyun hugging him tightly. "I'm sorry," Baekhyun says. "I'm so sorry that I'm like this."

Jongdae hugs him back so tight – almost crushes Baekhyun in his arms.

“I promise it won’t happen again,” Baekhyun tells him, and Jongdae believes it. 

“I know,” Jongdae replies. Because this is Baekhyun, and Baekhyun has never let him down.

Love and hope always go together, Jongdae thinks – or rather, he’s sure of it. Despite what he knows is sure to come, Jongdae has this incredible feeling and because of it, he will always have hope.

 

**vii.**

Kim Junmyeon, the local representative for South Koreans, tells them their country has finally been cleared of the undead. It’s safe, he says, for all of them to go home and rebuild their country. Or at least, this is what the government has informed them of.

Chanyeol raises his hand when it’s time for a question and answer. He is second to speak and his deep voice reverberates in the town hall.

From beside Jongdae, Chanyeol exclaims, “What makes you so sure that this isn’t just some plot to wipe us all out?” 

Likewise, Jongdae is skeptical that the undead have actually disappeared. They never run out, Baekhyun told him once.

“I assure you,” Junmyeon says, adjusting his specs as he stands at the podium. “The government would never mislead us about this matter.”

“Liar!” It’s a woman who yells this, first. Then, an onslaught of people starts shouting the same thing. No one, it seems, has any confidence in their government after what occurred at the start of the Rising in their country, how they sent away their whole population of children, leaving everyone else except the wealthiest to die.

Jongdae and Baekhyun leave the chaos of the forum once the screams become too deafening. Chanyeol doesn’t leave and Kyungsoo stays with him, just as invested in the crowd’s outrage.

“It really is bullshit, isn’t it?” Jongdae says. He sits with Baekhyun on a bench outside the town hall. Baekhyun takes out a smoke and doesn’t respond until minutes later.

“I for one think we shouldn’t be so cynical,” Baekhyun says, then smiles in Jongdae’s direction. He leans back and shrugs. “But I guess I understand where everyone’s coming from. My mom—I know she didn’t live past a week after I left and I do blame our president. I blame them all. But—”

Baekhyun shakes his head, laughing. “But I dunno, Jongdae. I think there’s hope.”

Jongdae stares for a moment before he decides to nudge Baekhyun with his shoulder and hook him under his arm. He rests his head against Baekhyun’s and asks, in disbelief, “When did you get so positive again?”

“I’ve got _you_ to thank for that.” Baekhyun kisses his cheek, once.

“Well, you’re very welcome,” Jongdae says, then kisses Baekhyun’s cheek, multiple times.

The sun is already about to set as they make their way back home. They tread across the street and Jongdae’s heart feels like it’s about to burst as Baekhyun continues to smile without a pause. When they’re a couple of blocks away, Baekhyun suggests a race and before Jongdae could ever agree, Baekhyun runs for it, leaving Jongdae to whine about how unfair this is.

“Hey!” Jongdae catches Baekhyun by the waist and swings him around, Baekhyun laughing loud when he does. 

Jongdae kisses him so hard afterward and takes his cheeks, wanting to feel Baekhyun's warmth. When they arrive at the shelter, they stand outside for many moments, staring at the gray structure before going inside. It used to be a public school before the local government converted it into what it is.

“I don’t want to get married here,” Baekhyun says, wistful. “Not while we’re living in a shelter.”

Jongdae looks at him. “So do we go back to South Korea? If that’s what you want, Baek, I’m all for it.”

Baekhyun smiles. “No,” he says. “We’ll look for somewhere else.”

“But where? What place would even take us?”

“I obviously don’t know that yet, dummy.”

Jongdae sighs. “Alright. So what’s the plan then? How do we find a place?”

Baekhyun huffs. He starts walking towards the shelter’s entrance, a large wooden door painted yellow.

“No clue,” Baekhyun shrugs. “But we’ll find a way. Trust me.”

“I do. I trust you.”

“Good.” 

Jongdae stands still. Baekhyun has already gone inside, but he remains on the sidewalk, thinking. They weren't ready before, but now, it seems all they have to do is find a better place.

“I trust him,” Jongdae mouths, to himself. The sky above him has turned a dark orange. In a moment’s time, Jongdae enters the shelter, leaving behind the view of the clouds and all the uncertainties that come with it.

 

**viii.**

It’s Baekhyun’s story to tell, for the most part. 

When people ask him about the long and torturous journey to Johannesburg, Baekhyun narrates in jest. Not just the boat ride and the face-off with the undead at their stop in India. He tells everyone about Korea, how he was forcibly sent away to Australia, how he first met Jongdae, about their time in Thailand, about the first time Jongdae asked Baekhyun to marry him.

It’s an inspirational story that everyone wants to hear: acquaintances, news outlets, TV stations, and everyone who comes to their wedding.

Baekhyun’s hand is caught in his, warm as Jongdae slides the ring down his finger. On the verge of tears, Jongdae says, “I’ve dreamed of this day for so long. You and me, together, with nothing in this whole world, not even the undead, to stop us. I love you so much.” At this, Jongdae finds that soft quirk in Baekhyun’s smile that he’s always loved and that twinkle in his eyes that tells Jongdae that Baekhyun feels the same.

They get married in Johannesburg during the fall. It’s one of the last places that accept asylum seekers as the Rising reaches its eleven-year mark. In time, they know the Rising will arrive here as well, but for now, Jongdae finds solace in the falling leaves that cover the soil and the little white lights that hang on thin wires, lining the garden where they have their wedding.

The minister feeds Jongdae some lines that Jongdae repeats and knows he won’t remember ever again.

In a place not far along, they have their reception. Everyone sits at picnic tables. They drink beer and eat their share of Kyungsoo's barbecue. Jongdae undoes his tie and slips off his shoes to feel the leaves on his toes, formalities abandoned. He sits back on a folding chair and looks toward the small group of people, mostly persons like them from other countries, gathered around to listen to Baekhyun’s story – of how he and Jongdae came to Johannesburg. Many details still make Jongdae a little ill, so he always leaves Baekhyun to divulge all the details.

“I still think this was a bad idea,” goes a voice. A shadow comes into Jongdae’s view and when he turns, he finds Kyungsoo, dressed in his suit, his head now shaved to the root.

“Well hello to you too,” Jongdae says, smiling up at him.

Kyungsoo sighs. "All of this. It's fleeting. Why even bother getting married? Do you really think this will last?”

The question is moot, Jongdae thinks. Jongdae glances back at Baekhyun, who appears to be trapped under Chanyeol’s arm. He now has a beer in his hand and he’s starting to laugh uncontrollably at something Chanyeol says.

He doesn’t know if this marriage will last; he doesn’t know if their luck will run out and they’ll be separated the next time a rising occurs. He doesn’t know if tomorrow will bring them death, if the streets of Johannesburg will be bloodied very soon.

But this is what Jongdae knows.

Baekhyun is his best friend and always will be, no matter what happens. In the midst of everything else – the destruction of homes and thousands of deaths – this fact has stood the test of time. If it weren’t for Baekhyun and his love, Jongdae doesn't know where he'd be right now. Though he certainly wouldn't be here, sitting happily.

He’s tried time and again to imagine a world without Baekhyun in it – a world where he has no one to protect. He thinks, at times, it might be better for them not to be so dependent on one another. But really, having it any other way, at this point, would be too unbearable.

Until now, when Jongdae looks at Baekhyun, he thinks of birds and fishes and boats on the sea, of wind and trains and the horizon above. He thinks of escape and of freedom. That tug on his heart still hasn’t let up, not since that day he first saw Baekhyun by the tram tracks. So Jongdae will savor this until the very moment that the Rising finally catches up with them. 

“Doesn’t matter if it’ll last,” Jongdae says, eyes meeting Kyungsoo’s.

Kyungsoo sighs, again. “The world is going to end very soon.”

“And I’ll live happily until it does,” Jongdae says. “I’ve made my choice,” he adds, mostly to himself this time. Whatever Kyungsoo might think, this is the whole truth.

Across the short distance that separates them, Baekhyun meets Jongdae’s eyes and smiles at him. Jongdae does the same.

The conversation ends there. Jongdae curls his toes and hears the crack of the autumn leaves. 

Today, Jongdae marries Baekhyun and he knows for sure, that everything, at long last, has fallen into place.

**[Fin]**

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/lc_sweetwine) | [Tumblr](http://fantasticmrlc.tumblr.com/)


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